No weigh-in

I went a little overboard with the food Thursday night and yesterday, so I decided to skip WI. I know I should just suck it up, but I'm limited on funds and can't afford the $15 right now. Plus I knew it would be a false gain (ie. I'd gain a ton more than actually possible, like 3 lbs, which means I'd have eaten 10, 500 calories over my limit the past 2 days, and that clearly didn't happen). Anyways, I realized immediately how shitty I felt and how I needed structure. STRUCTURE. I live for being organized and having plans, and the WW plan is one that I absolutely need to adhere to. So let's just say I gained 1 lb and leave it at that.

Oh shit.

I have an exam next Saturday at 8:30am. My meeting is at 9:30am. Shit, shit, SHIT. I just realized that. ARGH. Okay, time to buckle down this week. I'll just try and weigh myself at home. It won't be that accurate because my scale is a piece of crap, but I'll try. I hate missing WIs for something stupid like an exam. Stupid summer course...

3 more weeks until school! 3 more weeks to look even more fabulous than I do right now! I was hoping to break into the 150s but I feel like that's a bit of a longshot now. But I'm going to try to get as close as humanly possible! Even if I hit 160 on the nose, I'd be happy! I'm still on the right track!

Anyways, I'm off to go shopping, and then go donate blood. Fun stuff.

Hmm

Not sure if I'm liking this whole blogging thing anymore. It's been hard to get back at it, and I feel like no one reads it and I get no feedback, so why bother?

Meh... maybe it's just me having a bad day.

Boo

I am spending my night studying for my exam, worth 30%, that I'm writing next Saturday morning.

And I had an awful day at work picking up the slack for some guy who is a total dud and doesn't know the meaning of hard work.

Shit-tastic.

Re: Friday's post

I told my friend about this, and she checked his profile. She didn't say there was anything bad on it, but she was looking at the pics of him and his previous-ex now-girlfriend and the first thing she said was, "They're both getting chubby, so don't feel bad."

Is it bad that that made me laugh and feel a bit better? I know that's a horrible thing for me to think, but it's the first thing that came to mind.

Best.. Snack. EVER.

This was my afternoon post-gym snack today.



Two dill pickles (halved), cucumber slices, broccoli, 3 oz cheddar cheese, 5 cracked pepper and olive oil Triscuit crackers (they are to DIE for), and 3 tbsp of country herb dip. Total of 6.5 points. Soooo YUMMY! And crunchy. It definitely satisfied my need for a crunchy snack.

I was down 2.4 lbs at weigh-in which I was thrilled about! Usually I never lose over 2 lbs in a week. It's more like 1.4 or 1.6 lbs. I guess the Wendie Plan did work then, so I'm trying it again this week, meaning that I get to eat 44 points today, plus APs.

Speaking of APs, I had a great run at the gym, and earned 5 APs. My points have dropped, so the 40-minutes of running I did today used to earn be 6 APs but now I only get 5. Boo. I hate losing points, but it's good I suppose because it means I'm losing weight!

EXCITING NEWS ... only 6 more lbs and I've lost ALL of my freshman weight. YAAAAAAY! I'm sooo freakin' excited! It's been a lot of hard work, but it feels so so SO GOOD, I can't even tell you. This year I'm just looking forward to being healthier and happier and a lot of fun with friends, enjoying the single life! It's gonna be great!

Somebody stop me

I blocked my asshole of an ex on Facebook. His profile is public, and I am fighting the urge to unblock him and check his profile to see if he has written anything horrible about me. I don't know what is compelling me to feel like this, after how he treated me... horribly. Somebody just stop me. I'm trying to erase him from my life, and forget about how much pain he caused me, and I know that checking his profile will just make me go backwards when I'm trying to push forwards onto bigger and better things.

Even still, I'm determined to make this school year the best ever.

I'm healed!

Yaaaaaaay!

Okay, so today was a really good day for me. I went to work, and it was raining like CRAZY outside, so we couldn't cut grass. We stayed for 3 hours and then left work at 10am. So I got home, got dressed, and then went back to Forever 21 to shop some more. HAHA. I bought 4 shirts/short dresses and 2 belts. YAY! I loooove that store. One of the dresses I got was a SMALL. Noooo way! I'm going to have the coolest new wardrobe when I go back to school! :0)

After shopping, I had some lunch and went off to the gym. I really didn't want to go, but my leg was feeling so much better that I just had to. It was a GREAT run! I didn't get crazy out-of-breath like last time, and my leg felt fine. I guess that heating pad I put on it last night really worked! Plus I felt really fit and skinny after. Hehehe :0)

And after the gym and a nice shower, I went tanning. I'm trying to get rid of my farmer's tan by tanning the rest of my body. I only have like 4 more weeks to tan and then I'm off to school.

OMG, school is in 4 weeks! YIKES. I'm sooo excited! I'm just nervous for my RA training, and I hope that my students will like me. I'm not looking forward to crazy middle of the night fire alarms though ... they go on constantly for HOURS during the first month or two of school. And they're loud as hell! It's going to suck.

Anyways, I'm really excited for WI on Saturday. I hope it's a good one! :0)

Still injured! Gah!

My hamstring isn't feeling much better so I'm going to try something else to fix it. I tried Tylenol rapid release capsules, Rub A535, stretching, etc. I guess it's just going to have to work itself out. But tonight I'm trying the heating pad. I may not be 100% tomorrow, but I'm going to the gym. I'M GOING TO THE GYM. Hold me to it!

After work I dashed to the mall to check out the new Forever 21 store that opened on Saturday. It was busy, but not as busy as Saturday. I had to wait 30 minutes in line to pay though! I got 3 really nice shirts and 3 necklaces. As for sizes, I just decided to buy the size I wear now, although the shirts are tight-fitting so if I do lose 20 more lbs, it won't really be that noticeable, especially around my waist. I have a medium frame so I could never get stick skinny even if I tried. Anyways, I love the shirts I got! I only spent $80 on them, so that was a pretty good deal.

I'm just sooo excited to go clothes shopping for back to school! I've decided this year that I'm going to stray away from LABELS (ie. American Eagle, Hollister, etc) and develop more of my own style. Labels are out ...

Off to get the heating pad now!

Injury...

So I kind of pulled my hamstring from work from falling into a hole on a steep hill. Oops. It's really sore, and it hurts to walk, so I can't imagine how it would feel to run on it... Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow so I can run Wednesday and/or Thursday. I hate how I always hurt myself at work! :(

I feel skinnier this week. Maybe it's cause my TOM bloat from last week has gone away. But I feel good. I just feel like I'm actually going to find my happy weight this time! :)

Itchy itchy scratchy scratchy

I was doing something at work today that has caused me to itch all over my stomach, boobs, and back. It's driving me NUTS. Gah. I also kinked my neck somehow.

I didn't make it to the gym tonight because I wasn't feel great down below (very gassy, sorry, TMI) so I'm going to go tomorrow. Tomorrow is also one of my low days on Wendie Plan, so I'm going to need those APs!

I've been doing awesome this week, and I'm hoping for a spectacular loss on Saturday morning! :D

I believe in yesterday

Yesterday. It was a good day, but eating 44 points and no junk was hard. I also went for a 45-minute run, which almost killed me. I felt so lightheaded and woozy after that I had to sit down on the end of the treadmill once I was finished running. I felt so weird. So according to the Wendie Plan, I have to eat half of my APs on my Super High Day, which was yesterday. That means I ate 47 points yesterday. Wowza! Here's what I had:

Breakfast:
- 1 cup Shreddies (3)
- Danone yogurt (2)

Snack:
- Weight Watchers chocolate chip brownie (2)

Lunch:
- Salad: mixed greens, cucumbers, 3 oz cubed cheddar cheese, 4 tbsp roasted red pepper and parmesan dressing, 12g sunflower seeds (6)
- protein shake (6)

Snack:
- 1 cup Kashi Go Lean Crunch (4) mixed with Danone yogurt (2)

Post-run Snack:
- protein shake (6)

Dinner:
- 3-egg cheese omelette (8) with ketchup (1)

Dessert:
- 1 cup strawberries (1)
- Weight Watchers chocolate chip brownie (2)
- 2 Bud Light Lime beers (4)

Holy smokes. That's 47 points!

Today I'm eating 27 points, which has proven to be easier. It's almost 5:30pm and I have 12 points left!

Yesterday I was trying to "eat clean". So I didn't eat and junk, bread, ice cream, chocolate, cookies, etc. It felt pretty good! I wonder how long I can keep it up for. I hate to limit bread, but I usually have a peanut butter and jam sandwich for work every day, and I know that that can't be healthy. Tomorrow it's gonna be a salad. Yum!

Weigh-in!

After expecting to lose absolutely NOTHING this week, to my surprise, I was down 1.6 lbs! Wow! I didn't have a perfect week, but it could have been way worse, so I'll take this nice loss. Now I'm 167.4 lbs! YAY!

I found out last night that my ex dumped me for another girl (his former ex, the one before me). Needless to say, I blocked him every way possible (except my cell phone, because it won't work). I sent him a message saying: "I should have known that you dumped me for her. I saw that coming, it was blatantly obvious. I hope you know that we will never be friends, and I don't even care. Guys like you make me sick. I hope I never see you again. Don't ever contact me. Have a nice life."

You may think, hmm, that's really harsh, but that's nothing after how he treated me. He basically used me for 6 months until he could move back home and get back together with his ex for the summer. He's a guy of convenience. He can't do long distance, so he dates girls where it's convenient for him. At school, it was me. At home, it's his ex. Makes me sick. When we broke up, he told me that he wouldn't have time to see me because he wanted to work 7 days a week. That didn't happen (he works Mon-Fri). He told me that he didn't want a relationship for the summer and wanted to take a break from dating (wow, that was clearly a lie). And then he said that maybe we could get back together in the fall.

Wow.

Needless to say I feel pretty worthless right now. My self-confidence is shattered. I feel like no one will ever value me as a person, and that I'll never be loved. I feel like giving up on dating, and just putting up a wall. But I loved him, and he broke me.

I had no idea, but they opened up a Forever 21 store in my mall. Today was opening day, and I just happened to be at the mall. But the store was PACKED. I was like, fuck this, and left. I got 2 cute pairs of shoes at Spring instead, yay! Love shoes.

I don't know what I'm going to do for back to school clothes. I'd love to do a big shopping spree in 5 weeks, but I won't be at my goal by then. I mean, I'll be close, but not quite there. What should I do? Should I buy clothes that fit, or buy them a size smaller and just hope to fit into them later? I have noooo idea. Help please! :)

I'm trying a modified version of the Wendie Plan this week, just to see if it'll jolt my weight loss into 2+ lb losses. We'll see!

I should get my sorry, self-loathing ass to the gym soon. But I have a headache and am so tired, so I think I will nap soon and go tonight.

Stupid blogger

I couldn't figure out why my comments thingy wasn't working, so I had to sign up for a new Google account, and make a whole entire new blog to match the other one. GAH. Can someone please leave me a comment to let me know if it is working or not? I thank you!

Okay, so remember I told you all that I am being a residence assistant at school this year? Well, I got my monthly newsletter about it. We move in in 5 weeks (Aug. 23). The following week, we are going to a camp, where there will be SWIMMING and a WATER SLIDE. Oh holy Jesus. I do not look good in my bikini and feel like I will never be skinny enough to wear it nicely. I don't know what to do! I was thinking maybe I'd buy a tankini? See, this is where I panic, and think, "Oh shit, I'll never have enough time to lose X number of pounds in X number of weeks" and then eat my kitchen. GAH!

I'm thinking small goals here. I have such a twisted mentality about weight loss and exercise though. You know what I constantly think? If I don't run as much, I won't gain as much muscle, but I'll lose more weight. I can't decide what matters most to me now: losing weight or gaining muscle. I mean, I know I'm muscular underneath my fluff, but I have to lose the fluff first. My love handles and thighs are what I'm worried about.

This week was so-so. I went over my Flex by like 25 which sucks majorly, BUT, last night, I sat down and had 3 cookies. That's 360 calories. I don't know what came over me, but I turned on The Last 10 Pounds Bootcamp, and I booked it to the gym at 9pm and burned off over 360 calories in a 30-minute run. Um ... weird.

Anyways, weigh-in is tomorrow. I'm expecting to maintain and stay in the 160s, so wish me luck!

Yippeeeee!

Down 1.6 lbs this week! I was wishing for 2 lbs ... but I'll take it! So that means I've lost 5 lbs in 2 weeks. Yaaaaaay!

It's funny because last week I went to the gym only twice, and I did 70 minutes of running total. This week I went three times and did 120 minutes of running. So what am I learning here? To not exercise as much to lose more weight? How twisted is that! Tell me it's not true. Am I just building muscle?

My goal was to be around 156-158 before I go back to school and I have 6 weeks to do so, so as long as I keep on the right track like I am now, I'll be fine. I'm loving how on-plan I am and I have no wish to fall off the wagon now. Baby steps. I'm not going to look at the whole big picture at once. As Cali said, set small goals because they're easier to reach.

So this week's goal - run for 40 minutes 3 times a week. I did it last week, and I can do it again this week. It was a struggle, but I can do it. I absolutely HATE running, but it does wonders for weight loss and toning! Plus I really need to lose inches in my thighs.

I don't have much planned for this weekend. We're having wicked thunderstorms here right now. I am going to my grandparent's house for dinner and then have to stay and look after my cousin's dog there because my grandparents are going out with friends. Plus I have homework to do, so it's going to be a pretty lame weekend. Oh well!

I'll be going to the gym either today or tomorrow, at some point. I should probably go today, if I can get off my ass and just do it! :P

Weigh-in

Weigh-in was this morning and I was down 3.4 lbs! Yaaay! I was very surprised, actually. I had only ran on Saturday and Sunday, and I saved up about 24 flex points for beer at the party on Tuesday night, but I ended up throwing it up. Plus, on Thursday night, I went out to East Side Marios and ordered orrechiette genovese alfredo (which is the best dish I've ever had there -- you MUST try it!) which was 20 points, although I only had 11 to spend, I went over my flex by a little. And I avoided the bread, which has always been really hard for me to do. However, yesterday I passed up lunch with the crew (chicken wings and fries) and pizza at dinner with the fam jam, and I drank water all night. Yaaaaaay! I'm so happy!

As for goals, I'm trying to get to 158 by August 22nd. I have 7 weeks to lose 12.6 lbs. Umm, very obtainable! I'm not going to put pressure on myself though. If I even lose 10 lbs by then, I'll be very happy! That means I'll have lost ALL my freshman weight! Yay!

How is everyone else doing out in bloggerland? It's been hard for me to get used to writing on a consistent basis, but I hope that people are actually reading my blog (I haven't gotten any feedback yet, so I was just wondering). :)

Today I'm studying all day because I have a midterm on Wednesday. Tomorrow my mom and I are going to the Stratford Shakespeare Festival to see MACBETH starring Colm Feore. Sooo excited!