Saturday, July 18, 2009


After expecting to lose absolutely NOTHING this week, to my surprise, I was down 1.6 lbs! Wow! I didn't have a perfect week, but it could have been way worse, so I'll take this nice loss. Now I'm 167.4 lbs! YAY!

I found out last night that my ex dumped me for another girl (his former ex, the one before me). Needless to say, I blocked him every way possible (except my cell phone, because it won't work). I sent him a message saying: "I should have known that you dumped me for her. I saw that coming, it was blatantly obvious. I hope you know that we will never be friends, and I don't even care. Guys like you make me sick. I hope I never see you again. Don't ever contact me. Have a nice life."

You may think, hmm, that's really harsh, but that's nothing after how he treated me. He basically used me for 6 months until he could move back home and get back together with his ex for the summer. He's a guy of convenience. He can't do long distance, so he dates girls where it's convenient for him. At school, it was me. At home, it's his ex. Makes me sick. When we broke up, he told me that he wouldn't have time to see me because he wanted to work 7 days a week. That didn't happen (he works Mon-Fri). He told me that he didn't want a relationship for the summer and wanted to take a break from dating (wow, that was clearly a lie). And then he said that maybe we could get back together in the fall.


Needless to say I feel pretty worthless right now. My self-confidence is shattered. I feel like no one will ever value me as a person, and that I'll never be loved. I feel like giving up on dating, and just putting up a wall. But I loved him, and he broke me.

I had no idea, but they opened up a Forever 21 store in my mall. Today was opening day, and I just happened to be at the mall. But the store was PACKED. I was like, fuck this, and left. I got 2 cute pairs of shoes at Spring instead, yay! Love shoes.

I don't know what I'm going to do for back to school clothes. I'd love to do a big shopping spree in 5 weeks, but I won't be at my goal by then. I mean, I'll be close, but not quite there. What should I do? Should I buy clothes that fit, or buy them a size smaller and just hope to fit into them later? I have noooo idea. Help please! :)

I'm trying a modified version of the Wendie Plan this week, just to see if it'll jolt my weight loss into 2+ lb losses. We'll see!

I should get my sorry, self-loathing ass to the gym soon. But I have a headache and am so tired, so I think I will nap soon and go tonight.


  1. I know how you feel about dating and a$$hole guys. I have often been left feeling the same way. Give it a few days, you will be over it and you will be laughing at why you even felt bad in the first place. I have learned that no guys is worth feeling crappy about yourself. It's HIS LOSS. You don't need someone like that in your life anyway! Keep your head up, keep workin' out, and getting hot, and when you go back to school and you run into him, you can walk by and laugh because he lost!! :)

  2. Aww, thanks Dana :) I know I am worth it, and he is just too stupid to realize that! I find it funny though how a guy can hurt and use people the way he does and not feel that he's doing anything wrong.

  3. Heyhey girly!

    Thank you for commenting on my blog--I am so glad you found me. I see that you are new to blogging too--so we can embark on this journey together.

    About the ex boyfriend--sounds like you are WAAAAAY better without him. You do not need that negativity in your life. You have so much to offer and it is completely his loss. Believe me, you will find someone is lucky enough to have you and appreciates all the beauty you have, both inside and out.

    Work it work it twerk it! haha